We’ve all fantasised about living out a different life. Maybe you dream about being bolder and more confident so that you can finally stand up to your domineering boss, or perhaps you envision an alternative universe where you have no responsibility and someone cares for you night and day. Life can be hard and those little fantasies are often what keep us going. But your fantasies needn’t be confined to impossible daydreams during your commute — there’s one place you can bring your secret desires to life.
Sex is the most expressive, animalistic and honest aspect of our lives. During sex, the normal rules and regulations no longer apply. The only problem is sex, especially when you’re in a long-term relationship, can get a little samey. You and your partner may have lost that spark or your busy life may only allow for a quick lusty romp, but sexual roleplay can reignite a relationship.
Whether you’re in a long-term relationship and looking to put some fire back beneath the sheets or are just looking to add something new to your bedroom repertoire, roleplay sex games allow you to live out your darkest, wildest dreams.
What Are Roleplay Sex Games?
Roleplay may sound like a game you used to play when you were a kid, rummaging through your parents’ wardrobe and playing “grown-up”, but the adult world of roleplay is much more tantalising than that. Sexual roleplay is a game of seduction where you and your partner adopt different personas and enact sexy scenarios that get you both going. Not dissimilar to the childhood equivalent, sexual roleplay is all about stepping out of reality and into a fantasy of your creation.
To play, all you need is an active imagination and a dash of creativity — oh, and maybe a costume and a prop or two. You don’t need to have Oscar-worthy acting skills. You just need a willingness to be vulnerable to your partner and trust in the experience. Although many of us are reluctant to try out something different, there’s a good chance that you and your partner already have elements of roleplay in your sex life. We’re sure no one fakes their orgasms here, but even dirty talk is a kind of roleplay. It’s not all bondage and dungeons.
Imagination and fantasies are an integral part of our sex education and adding a bit of creative bedroom roleplay into the mix is more than just fun. Roleplay opens you up to a whole new world of sexual experiences. Think of it as foreplay for the mind, as well as the body — it’s the ultimate recipe for life-changing sex.
Step One: Deep Dive into Your Fantasies
Before you dip your toes into the intoxicating world of roleplay, you need to first take some time to find out what really turns you on. The first step is to dive deep into your darkest, most secret desires. It’s important at this stage not to self-criticise or be ashamed of what gets you going. However crazy or taboo your repressed desires, just go with it — they’re fantasies for a reason. We’re all prone to self-censorship and put-downs — you know, the whole, “oh god, why does that turn me on? That really shouldn’t.” But there’s nothing wrong with indulging in dirty thoughts. The whole point of roleplay is to dance with your desires within the confines of a loving and trusting sexual relationship — remember that it’s a game and there are no real-life implications to your actions. If you’re a doctor who’s always dreamt of seducing your patient, you’re not going to be stripped from the medical register for acting it out in the bedroom. Who knows, it may even help you to get the desire out of your system.
Loosen yourself up and get into it. Watch porn, read good erotica, and masturbate with your favourite sex toys. If something pops up, explore that fantasy. You could even keep an erotic journal that captures your most sizzling thoughts before you forget them. Let your mind race; no one else even has to know.
Step Two: Open up with Your Partner in a Shame and Judgement-Free Conversation
Unless you plan on acting out your scene on your own, the next step is pretty important. Step two is to talk through your fantasies with your partner/partners. We know that talking to a partner can be tough, let alone talking to your partner about long-held and deeply repressed desires. So why not try easing into it by playing some sexy board games. We’ve talked before about how the structure of sex board games can help break the ice and ease you into a meaningful conversation about what you both want and expect, and we stick by it.
IOU: The Game of Hidden Pleasures is a great starting place. Made up of 42 cards each with a different daring sexual act or favour, this game helps you to break from your normal routine and explore each other’s turn-ons and turn-offs. For something a bit more on the nose, Sexual Roleplay is a game of fetish and fantasy, so it’s a great choice if you and your partner aren’t sure about what direction to take your roleplay in. You never know, something that doesn’t do it for you when you’re on your own could be a real winner when you’re with your partner.
Remember to be open even if your partner says something a little out there. It takes a lot to open up to someone about what you want and desire, and there’s no room for judgement when it comes to roleplay. Shame and judgement-free conversations are the foundation for the most sensual, exciting and sexy scenarios.
Step Three: Get into Character
So you’ve taken some alone time to understand your deepest fantasies. You’ve listened to your partner’s desires. Together, you’ve come up with your perfect scenario. Now it’s time for the fun to start! It’s time to get into character. If this was a chick flick, this step would be the “trying-on-clothes” montage to an upbeat soundtrack. Costumes, makeup and perfume are great tools for helping you get into the role and if you’re a little artistically-challenged in the acting department or, even, if you’re shy, costumes are great to hide behind. They allow you to step out of yourself — you’re not you, you’re a sexy nurse about to give your patient some much-needed “medicine” — ahem.
Head to a charity shop, a fancy dress shop or simply raid your own wardrobe for your perfect look. Don’t focus too much on authenticity, you just want to get the essence of the character with a sexy twist. Keep your character in mind: how would they dress? What would they say? Do they have a scent? The more layers you can add to the character, the richer you and your partner’s experience.
To really nail your new persona, try practising in front of the mirror. Not only will this help you to get into character, but it will also ease your stage fright.
Step Four: Dress up and Get Down!
Your curtain call moment has arrived! All that planning has led to this moment. But we’re not going to lie: if you’re new to roleplay, your first experience may be a little exposing and awkward. So go easy on each other. Expect to get silly, fall out of character, drop the accent and say the wrong thing. This is a safe space, not the West End, so laugh at slip-ups and embrace the embarrassment. Not only will the little awkward moments bring you closer, but the more you do it, the more naturally it will flow.
Embrace your fantasies, have fun and give into the mood — we promise you won’t regret it.
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